Where the Sun Sets
Chapter 15
Antonia tried to focus on the voice. "Anthony, Anthony please, open your eyes
honey. Just for a moment, please Anthony. I love you Anthony."
Darkness, a rich thick black, was all she could see. Then falling, she felt
herself falling backwards. She felt fear, and wondered why. Antonia had worked
hard, throughout her life to capture fear, to control her emotions and hide them from
others. And now she was afraid and worse, she did not know why or what she feared.
She kept falling away from the voice. She turned her head to look behind her. She
wanted to see where she was falling to. Nothing was there, just more of the
darkness.
Searching out the voice again, she felt emptiness. The falling sensation
stopped and she looked around. She stood on her own two feet, there was no ground.
She was surrounded by the darkness. Off to the left she saw a light. She willed
herself to walk towards it. It was coming from a doorway. She opened the door very
slowly.
Peeking through the door way, she saw her father. He had the front of her
mother's dress in his hand. Antonia tried to focus her eyes. Her mother was still
in the dress. Antonia knew, in her heart, it was her mother. Although even if she
were closer, she would not be able to recognize her. The fist of her father's free
hand was continually punching at the hole that used to be her mother's face. Antonia
let a gasp escape her lips. Her father looked over to where she stood. He looked
her in the eyes and smiled.
The front door smashed to the floor, startling both Antonia as well as her
father. Salvatore dropped the body, but his bloody hand was still extended as the
police entered the dwelling. Antonia closed the door quietly. She backed away into
the darkness. A hand fell upon her shoulder. She spun around to witness its owner.
Mother. Her mother was standing behind her with a smile on her face. She bent
down so that she was eye level with her daughter. Antonia looked upon her face. She
felt a solo tear fall down her cheek. Gently she extended her hand out to her
mother's face, her mother's beautiful face. Not a freckle, not a pimple, not a
flaw. Ever so gently Antonia let her fingers caress her mother's face.
"It's okay, Anthony, don't cry."
"I'm so sorry Mommy." Antonia heard herself speak the words she had harbored
inside all these years. Her words did not seem to apply to what she wanted them to
though. She saw herself as a child of four. She had fallen down outside while
playing and ripped her nylons.
"Anthony, it's okay, really. I love you. Let's go and wash up and change
before Daddy comes home, okay?"
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